i could float here forever
twenty years of white pony
i’ll have more of a critical take of the deftones’ career-defining record over at chorus.fm next week but today on the 20th anniversary of its release i’m going to dive into my personal journey with white pony.
i was living in a suburb outside of milwaukee, wisconsin when white pony released. at fourteen years old it was the summer leading into my freshman year at high school. it was also a summer of change for me as my father accepted a new job in indianapolis and i would be going to a high school where i wouldn’t know anyone. prior to the big move, my mom took my siblings and i shopping for god knows what (probably just some odds and ends and some snacks for the long drive) and i asked my mom if we pop into the best buy so i could get a new cd for the ride to indy (lol that sentence sounds so impossibly old). a quick aside on my music listening habits at the time: a small sampling of my cd wallet comprised of stuff like weezer albums (you know which ones), saves the day’s through being cool, enema of the state, and the miseducation of lauryn hill. i think the heaviest music i owned was the self-titled rage against the machine cd. okay, so anyways my loving mother agreed to buy one (1) cd for me (i was fourteen i had zero dollars). thrilled, i rushed to the new releases section to pour over my options. the clean look of the album art drew me to white pony - i recalled seeing the “change (in the house of flies)” music video on total request live and really enjoying that song (i was oblivious to the internet and napster so i had zero idea of all the leaked tracks prior to the album’s release) and thusly i departed the store with the latest deftones’ album.
upon getting home, i immediately ripped the plastic off the jewel case and put the silver disc in my walkman, instantly transfixed by ‘feiticeira’ - from the opening line of “fuck I'm drunk” leading into the song’s kidnapping hallucination - something Chino Moreno’s vocals conveyed so perfectly, effortlessly - and i was hooked, never realizing that rock music could sound like this - intertwining so many different textures and noises. there were so many classic moments on white pony that hit me on first listen - the booming drums from abe cunningham on ‘digital bath,’ the haunting outro of ‘rx queen,’ the utter calm before the crushing breakdown on ‘korea’ (check the claws), the intoxicating sprawl of ‘passenger’ - it was sensory overload in the best way. i became obsessed with the record and it was the only thing i listened to on that move down to indy and really throughout the entire summer. i poured over chino’s obscure lyrics - a lot of them going over my head at the time as i gained new appreciation for them as i grew older - and was thoroughly impressed by his vocal range - i couldn’t grasp why more rock vocalists couldn’t sound like him. it was my comfort and my confidence heading into a new school that fall and helped me make new friends as the white pony logo was instantly recognizable on other kid’s t-shirts and backpacks.
white pony obviously changed the trajectory of deftones’ career as well as changing what mainstream heavy music could be as well as being the launching point for an uncountable number of incredible bands currently creating music. but for me, white pony changed my life - it changed how i viewed and consumed not just heavy music but music in general, it helped me meet some of my closest friends throughout each phase of my life, continues to be a staple in my weekly rotation and is constantly the record i recommenced to people who might just be getting into heavy music.
tonight i feel like more
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